So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
