Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
