We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
