I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize