your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
