haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
