roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize