what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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