is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
