My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
