just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
