Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
