If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
