she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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