I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
smell my finger.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
