he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
