I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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