I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
