i barfeds in our rink
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
