i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
