Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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