So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
