I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
