after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
