At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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