Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he was CRYING into my vagina
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
