it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
ttyl tear gas
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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