Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
