Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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