Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
