Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
