And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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