Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize