Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
