Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
