I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
