this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize