You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
