when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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