And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize