bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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