I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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