Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
