I cockslap morals
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
