operation have a gay friend backfired
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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