are you so shy because you have an std?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
