I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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