so explain again why im purple
no
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
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