The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
