If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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