idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
