I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just gift wrapped bread.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
