Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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