Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
