I think I just saw someone hide a body.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I cut my penus on the lid.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
