i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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