Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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