I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize