So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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