So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
