By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
