Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
