yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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