Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
